... eventually!

so right now I'm stealing someone's internet signal, but it's it weak and broken and I'm not even at my house so it'll be awhile before I get it again.

I have a lot of messages/deviations to work through, and I'll try to get to all of them, but give me a little time. We don't have internet and we'll be living out of a suitcase for the next month, so be kind please.

AND A HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ~emochick007! SHE'S HAVING A BIRTHDAY AND I'M NOT THEREEEEEEEEEE! (I'll send you and email pronto...)

And another (OVER A WEEK BELATED, I SUCK) happy birthday to =th3krimzon1 because he's awesome. (And I have something to put up for you to but I'm a loser so you'll have to wait a couple days... )

SORRY TO ALL FOR BEING BAD AT NOT SUCKING...

[~Hitomi-no-Envy:I know I'm lame and this is probably too late, so I'm sorry again...
I'm short (Just under 5' ) and I like to pretend that I'm skinny. My hair is also short and dirty blonde, but I have a blue streak down one side (No joke!) I like swords, but can it have blue fire on it plz?]

... is my close, personal friend. We even sleep in the same bed (Actually, it's more me trying to sleep and Insoni-chan blabbering away and complaining in my ear and generally being annoying )

I don't know if I've talked about it with anyone on here, but let me outline a few things regarding this (Sorry... if I don't tell the whole story I’ll get upset [I have a good reason, trust me])

It started while back, during the period when things between my Mother and I were at their worst. It basically went like this: I'd go to sleep early, due to exhaustion, be VERY tired, but not fall asleep for a number of hours (Usually around 12o'clock M.) I would then wake up around 2-3, but generally be so tired that I could hardly do anything. Occasionally, I would get up and read or be on Da.

We tried medications. The issue that was that my body adjusts to pills fast. i.e., the pill would work for the first day brilliantly, half as well the second day, and not at all on the third day. (This happens with ANY medicine I take D: ) Eventually, we just couldn't find enough sleeping pills that worked.

Now, things at home kept getting worse, and I now believe it was this stress which tortured me at nighttime. I knew something had to give, but I didn't want everything to blow up so I tried to stop it early, and take things into my own hands. I scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist (Without letting my Mother know) and outlined the issues at home to her. She said it would be best if we had a group meeting, which I easily agreed to (This being my intention)

After awhile, we poked holes through the problem and deflated a lot of the hot air. Obviously, things were not completely remedied, (We still have some MAJOR issues, but I think we both know that some of these are things that can't be fixed)

But it was enough for me to start sleeping again. I was relieved, after nearly a year of little to no sleep every night, that I could start getting it all back together. I started doing better in school, and I was happier.

Due to the stress in my life now, this pattern has started repeating itself. I'm a bit annoyed, because school is going to be tough enough without exhaustion hanging over my head ): )

But life moves on.

I think I'm going to start meditation again. I had meditated for a little while, but now I feel that it could help me out here. Because I know I need it.

Right now we're staying at Grandma's house, though, and she doesn't get the whole 'insomnia' thing. She says things like "Maybe it's the mattress" and the like. It's really annoying, because she knocks on my door in the middle of the night and demands to know why the light is on.

Anyway. Is there anyone else who knows that they'll be online a lot during the nighttime where I am? (EDT night-time, American East Cost, ect.) I'd love to chat or something

...Before my world comes crashing down. Again.

In my lifetime (My age is very close to the number above...) I have lived in:

3 Different continents&countries
5 different states (Including outside of U.S.)
8 different houses

and moved internationally four times.

I have fifteen days before I move from Australia (Our residence for the past two and a half years) back to Tennessee.

THIS BLOWS.

Moving internationally is the worst. It has literally taken two years for me to be accepted into this social group, and we're* leaving. I expected it, though. That's how it always happens.

Let me explain: We move for my Mother's job. Not my Father's, I don't live with him. *It's just me, my Mother, and my little sister.

I'm leaving halfway through the school year, which I get to start over again. But I do get one month of summer vacation, so I'll spend it with Grandma down in Oxford, MD (It's a sleepy little seaside town. I'll get a job.)

This is really dreadful, honestly. It seems like a week ago we had six months left. I actually think I went through the stages of grief (I might be oversataing there, but oh well.) oddly.

Normal Person:
Denial and Isolation.
Anger.
Bargaining.
Depression.
Acceptance.

Me
Acceptance.
Anger.
Denial.
Bargaining.
Acceptance again.
Depression. (For me, this always happens after the move.)

I realize that this might not classify as grief, but it's a very drastic thing. I've been numb for awhile now I'll let ya'll know when I fianally cry about it.

I spent the weekend cleaning out my closet (Three piles, Charity, Keep and a trashbag.) So far I have a trashbag full, a box for Charity two third's full, and a shoe box full of stuff I"m keeping. (Aren't you PROUD?! Mother ussualy has to go through and throw all my suff out for me )

But the cleaning lady came today and she threw everything on my bed so she could vacuum D: It's all in a messy pile now, and I have to go back through and sort everything again. (But I'm not mad at her in the least. It's her job, after all. She didn't know. In fact, It was my responsibility to ask her not to vacuum in my room, and it's my fault.)

AND just so I don't get too whiney, here's a list of Pro's!

PRO'S
* We will be close to family again
* We are moving to a place we have lived before
* We visited during last break, and we picked out a house
* So we have a place to live, and it has gas/electric/heating/whathaveyou
* We have a bunch of furniture in storage
* We have FAMILY FRIENDS
* My sister is going to my old school I'm still friends with the librarian
* I got into a smarty-pants school (I'm excited to actually learn)

I'll add more as I think of them. I was home from school for four days because of exams/weekend, and I've just had to get myself home again because I'm sick D:

But hey. I finished my book (The Merlin Conspiracy by Diana Wyne Jones [Author of the book the Studio Ghibli movie Howl's Moving Castle was based off of.] They were both very, very good. I encourage you to go read her stuff!)

I'm going to start Moby Dick now .

Check out this cool chick!!

[link]
[link]
[link]

Holy mushrooms I am STUCK in the computer labs DX

I'm dead serious, I walked in and swung the door shut. then half an hour later, tried to leave the room, door won't open.

the I tried running up and slamming against the door, still won't open.

Oh shit.

But I stuck my mouth to the crack and yelled 'I'm stuck in here! Someone get the Maitinence guys!

So they eventually showed up. People are currently crowding outside, taking photos and making crude jokes. They're trying to take to door completely off the wall (the whole doorway came from the bolts...)

I still have no idea how I got stuck in here. It's so retarded....

1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged person must post 8 things about their self on their journal.
3. At the end, you have to choose and tag 8 people and post their icons on the same journal.
4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
5. No tag-backs.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

1. I'm a total praise-whore. I hate it, but it's true
2. My eyebrows point in different directions.
3. It surprises me every time I look in a mirror, because I look different than I think I do.
4. I get really patriotic about things when people insult them. More than is healthy, really.
5.I have a life plan for the next eight years, in detail. It probably will not go that way.
6. I have three major obsessions, ones that I have had for years and will not fade. I often cross them over and such. they are InuYasha, Naruto, and Inheritence.
7.I over analyze life, everything I say, and what is said to me. I wish I didn't because it brings more hurt than happiness knowing what lies are behind words
8. I sometimes feel unemotional, and unable to spark a response from something. I hate that.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

uh........ not many of the other people who watch me come online a lot currently